Dear Future Wife,

I’ve never been one to be patient—I just want you here with me already. It’s not that I’m losing out on hope but rather I need to feel secure. I need to know that you’re out there—somewhere—for me. Maybe the mere fact that I need this sense of security means that I am losing faith. I don’t know.

I’m trying my best to wait. I really am. A part of me just wants to get it over with, but what kind of mentality is that? You deserve a man who will wait for you, who will sacrifice for you, who will honor and cherish you. Perhaps I’m letting my selfishness and let peer pressure rule me during my moments of weakness.

I found a song by Beckah Shae called “Worth Waiting For” that pretty much sums what I currently feel:

You got me dancing like a fool when I’m alone in my room

You have me shouting halleluiah just when I think about you

You got me loopy like a rollercoaster baby and I’m hanging on

You got me skipping like a record baby to my favorite song

I’ve been talking to one of my best friends about you. The truth is, every time I talk to him, a part of me hurts and a part of me gets scared. I get scared that I won’t be good enough for you, that I’m so darn messed up, that I have all these scars that you won’t see pass through them. What kind of life can I offer you? What can I provide? I don’t know, but I’m fooling myself to think such things. If you are made for me, you’d be beyond all the shallowness. We’d be in love—no one and nothing else matters.

So here I am waiting and searching for you. And when I find you, I’m going to rejoice. I’m going to celebrate. I’m going to party. I’m going to tell the whole world that you are mine and I am yours.

You are the one, you are the one

Who surpasses all my expectations

My search is done, my search is done

So I’m going to have myself a celebration

You are more than I could have ever asked for

I’ve never been more sure

This love is so worth waiting for

Dear Future Wife,

I realized that as of today, 7 of my friends are engaged. What a summer! It only makes me wonder when our time will come. Hopefully, it’ll be soon.

I love you,

Gio

Dear Future Wife,

Poet Nikki Giovanni once said, “We love because it’s the only true adventure.” I agree. Love is an adventure because it is mysterious. You never know where you’ll end up. You won’t even know what obstacles and challenges lie ahead until you get there. I want to go on this adventure with you and I know we can both make it if we work on it together. 

So, are you ready to take the plunge? To climb greater heights with me? Together? I know—adventures are worth the risks, but our love is worth it, right?

Let’s not be afraid. Come on, let’s go on this adventure.

1 John 4:18 
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

Dear Future Wife,

You are the apple of my eye, or rather, God’s eyes. I hardly understood what it meant to be anyone’s “apple” to anyone’s eye. However, I’m sure I will once I meet you. For the most part, I know it means holding someone dear. Perhaps, a better word is “cherish.” And that’s what I want to do—to cherish you.

How do I cherish you? I want to show you my affections. Do you love flowers? What about poetry? Or letters like this one? Or are you the kind of woman that likes to spend time somewhere or to do something?

I can’t wait to find out.

I love you,

Gio

Deuteronomy 32:10

“He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.”

Dear Future Wife,

I, Gio, take you, ____, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. 

I would never ever dream of putting you and me in the same sentence as divorce. When I say that I promise to be true to you, when I say I want to honor you and cherish you all the days of my life—I want to be a man of my word. I don’t want to be like the other men of my generation who often don’t take responsibility for their actions or keep their promises.

I’ve learned from the relationships from my dad with my mom. You see, both are children of divorced parents. As children, they’ve felt the tear of the family structure, constantly splitting their time between two families. University of Utah professor, Nicholas H. Wolfinger says, “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” They knew this before they ever married and had vowed to learn from the mistakes of their parents. They wanted to be an example and show me that marriages can work if we are patient, slow to be angry, and full of communication.

I thank my parents for setting the example to me. Even when they are angry with each other, they never argue in front of me and they constantly communicate and talk things out. I want to do the same with you.

I love you,

Gio

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

-Mignon McLaughlin

Dear Future Wife,

I don’t mean to sound blasphemous, but I stopped praying to God asking Him for patience because I know He answers prayers. And when He answers that particular prayer, that means He’ll give me “opportunities” to be patient. I laugh at this because even when I don’t pray for patience, I find God still giving me “opportunities” to be patient. What a foolish thought that I could ever hide anything from God. He knows I need it—that I need the training.

There’s a kid in church who constantly tries my patience. This is bad because I LOVE kids. So for a kid to annoy me the way he does, to push my buttons that way—well, it takes a lot. But lately, I’ve been trying to see him through God’s eyes. God loves this kid (He loves everyone) and all his imperfections, just the way He loves me and my lack of patience. And the more I get to know this kid, the more my heart breaks for him. People don’t understand him or are willing to take the time to understand him. They just brush him off and reject him. 

Then there’s my relationship with a friend. We’ve bonded a lot and I’m grateful for what he and I have. Or maybe it’s had? I don’t know. Lately, I’ve felt distant from him, which is strange because (at least to me) our relationship is deeper than any of my past friendships. We used to be able to communicate with each other, but recently, it’s not like what it used to be. And I’m desperate for things to go back to what it once was. He holds an important place in my life and I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t think the feeling is mutual. We’ve been constantly fighting, mainly because of me, and how much importance I place on communication. I mean, communication is important in relationships, right? And many times, I feel like this relationship we have has become one-sided, and it frustrates me because it used to be two-way and I feel he doesn’t care. What I give isn’t reciprocated. I’ve had moments where I just want to give up, but I believe this relationship is important. So I don’t really know what’s happening with us…with me.

Patience. I hate the word, but I know it’s of vital importance in any relationship. I must be “slow to speak and slow to become angry.” And perhaps my relationship with him only helps develop my patience in my eventual relationship with you. I’m laughing again—it’s what my “little sister,” Bailey told me. It makes sense in some kind of twisted way.

But here’s to love being patient.

I love you,

Gio

Psalm 86:15 (NIV)

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness

(Image via Psychology Today)

Dear Future Wife,

My world is saturated with sex and images of sex. I guess it’s no surprise—our generation is so image-focused, and unfortunately, that means that I am too (and perhaps you are as well). The magazines I buy not only help me get ideas on how I should work out to lose my gut, but also offer suggestions on how to “dress for more sex,” how to “dress [you] down,” and how to have “more sex, [with] less begging.” Heck, they even want to reveal “30 red-hot sex secrets” to me. All I really want is to take care of my body and get more toned and defined, but sex is there because it sells magazines. Sex seems to be everywhere tempting me.

Or perhaps sex isn’t the problem. One of the real culprits that is messing up our generation isn’t sex, but lust. Lust destroys relationships, and the taste of it is sweet for awhile, but the after-effects—it destroys us internally. As a result, we confuse love with lust. We think there’s a deep connection, but really it’s just physical because it’s lust. A physical connection can only go so far. No, I want a deeper connection with you—an emotional and spiritual one. I don’t want to have a one-night-stand. I want to respect you. I want to give myself the greatest gift I could give you. So I make a commitment with you; I want to be faithful and wait for you.

So I have made a commitment! I made a commitment with one of my best friends to keep each other accountable. We signed a “V-Card”—a virginity card, an oath that I will wait for you, that I will remain a virgin for God, for our future kids, and for you. He and I made a covenant with each other. We would check up on each other and make sure that we are doing what we had committed to do. So symbolically, he has my “virginity” and is protecting it. Thus, I can’t really give my “virginity” away. I know it’s kind of laughable, but on our wedding day, he’ll present this very card that he and I signed as a symbol that he has held his bargain of the covenant—that he kept me accountable, honest, and committed to you.

I know some of my guy friends think what I am doing is foolish. A young guy like myself should go out in the world and experiment. It’s only natural—we have this sex drive for a reason. They say, how will you know if I’m good in bed if I don’t “practice?” I don’t judge them, but I know that there’s something deeper with sex. Sex is so deep that from examining all my friends who have had multiple partners—I see how they’ve self-destructed with an insatiable hunger. They compare one woman with the next, getting disappointed, never fully being satisfied, so they move on to the next woman and the next. And the cycle repeats. They forget that in sex, you give a part of yourself to the other. So I tell them that you and I will have a life time to “practice” and be good at it. Call me old fashioned—I would never want to pressure you to have sex—I’d want us to seal the deal with our marriage.

I love you,

Gio

“I’m still waiting for, you to be the one I’m waiting for”

—Relient K

@James-Renes,

Of course you can tag along. I think your future wife (whoever it will be) will appreciate it when she starts reading them. I’m planning to show her on my honeymoon night (whenever that will be).

This was something that my bro and I decided to do to honor our future wives.

Song of Solomon 8:6 

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. (NIV)

After talking to my grand little brother, Hans (who is as much of a hopeless romantic as I am), I think I’ll be starting a new series—love letters to my future wife, whoever it may be that God chooses.

And whoever it is that will be my future wife, will see how I’m waiting for her, and how much I am training myself to win her heart way before I meet her, and how much I will pursue her.

So future wife, the guy next to me is responsible for this idea. You have him to thank. And hopefully, he’ll be at our future wedding.